THE new bridge, which is like the Death Star, is near completion, and the dark shadow of the Emperor falls across Halton.

It has now been revealed that taxi customers will be the only Halton residents to pay to cross the bridge.

Taxi rebel forces can find no councillors to fight their cause.

They now fear the dark side has taken control, and their only hope is to look outward to distant stars, searching the outer planets in the vain hope of finding Cllr Luke Skywalker, that mythical Labour Jedi who still fights for Labour’s social justice and the force of good.

Sadly there is only despair in the rebel camp and little hope of finding him, as he has disappeared with all other Labour Jedi councillors.

There is speculation among the rebels that many joined the Emperor and the dark side when long ago they decided to rip up the book of social justice, sadly turning away from all of Labour’s true beliefs and agreeing to toll the poor souls of Halton.

That is despite the old bridge being an existing road – throughout the country existing roads have never been toiled before.

Where are the Labour Jedi who signed up to fight and protect the residents that do not own a car and the old and infirm that cannot catch a bus and rely on taxis just to get outside?

Do all Labour councillors live under the hood of the Emperor and believe it is fair to charge that old pensioner to cross the bridge to do her shopping at Morrisons?

Why have none come forward to fight for them and all other taxi customers?

The Mersey Gateway has already declared that all except taxis go free – buses and cars but not taxi users without a council lightsaber being seen.

The council promised free travel for all residents of Halton.

Is this just another Labour broken political promise that we must ignore at the next local election?

No wonder Obi-Wan Corburn is struggling to hold the force together.

It is now some time since I contacted the World predicting this would happen, calling on councillors through the paper to aid taxi drivers before the decision was made.

Sadly, as predicted, none appeared.

But true to form rumour has it they have used all their resources to train and arm their new taxi inspector, and the only message seems to be ‘we will permanently cut off the livelihood of any rebel driver that protests and refuses to cross the bridge’.

Once again I must say without hope of success ‘this is Major Tom to Ground Control on planet Earth, is there anyone out there?’

Major Tom and the rebel forces

(real name and address supplied)